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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25356361">Woke Up In The Morning Feelin' Cynical</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyssa_Alara/pseuds/Lyssa_Alara'>Lyssa_Alara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I'll Die A Thousand Deaths Before I Let You Win [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Demon Hunters, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Badass Katara (Avatar), Badass Sokka (Avatar), Badass Toph Beifong, Bisexual Zuko (Avatar), Demon Hunters, Hunters &amp; Hunting, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Implied Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Iroh (Avatar) loves Tea, Minor Aang/Toph Beifong, Multi, One-sided Aang/Katara (Avatar), Protective Sokka (Avatar), Protective Zuko (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar) Being An Idiot, Stubborn Katara (Avatar), Tea, Toph Being Awesome, Witch Hunters, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:34:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,844</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25356361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyssa_Alara/pseuds/Lyssa_Alara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko knew he should have turned around the moment he saw the unusually coloured flames in the distance, but he was an idiot and he didn't run and now, here he is; barely able to stand in the middle of the silent apartment he shared with his Uncle. He was lucky Azula wasn't there, or she would have laughed at him right before leaving him outside for a demon to fond. His sister always had been ruthless like that. Was it healthy? No way in hell. could he do anything about it? No, because Zuko liked being alive and he knew he was as good as dead if he even suggested Azula being anything less than perfect. Honestly, it was a trap either way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang &amp; Iroh (Avatar), Aang &amp; Toph Beifong &amp; Iroh &amp; Katara &amp; Sokka &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Aang &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Azula &amp; Iroh (Avatar), Azula &amp; Mai &amp; Ty Lee, Azula &amp; Mai (Avatar), Azula &amp; Ty Lee (Avatar), Azula &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Iroh &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Katara &amp; Iroh (Avatar), Katara &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong &amp; Iroh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I'll Die A Thousand Deaths Before I Let You Win [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Woke Up In The Morning Feelin' Cynical</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostingless_cupcake/gifts">frostingless_cupcake</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/almorty/gifts">almorty</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/liacat/gifts">liacat</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/fastfeetnella/gifts">fastfeetnella</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahviCup/gifts">KahviCup</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoellaCitali/gifts">ZoellaCitali</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinated_disaster/gifts">caffeinated_disaster</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/wlwzuko/gifts">wlwzuko</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbendingmiko/gifts">waterbendingmiko</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Woke up in the morning feelin' cynical, typical</em><br/>
<em>Tryin'a rub the sleep out of my bloodshot eyes</em><br/>
<em>Did I just die? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah</em><br/>
<em>I've been feelin' self destructive, but I love it</em><br/>
<em>I can't help myself your taste is so seductive</em><br/>
<em>- MISSIO</em><br/>
<br/>
==============<br/>
<br/>
Zuko leaped over the barren streets of the lowest ring of Ba Sing Se, contemplating the probability of getting caught if he were to try to sneak into the upper rings and get some medicine. <br/>
<br/>
Well, medicine that actually worked and was an affordable price. He kind of didn't want to sell his organs at the incredibly shady Black Market he had accidentally found when he was out as the Blue Spirit. He knew the lowest ring of Ba Sing Se was crime-ridden, but he was shocked when he saw exactly what kind of things were being sold at the market.<br/>
<br/>
From banshee claws to an actual manticore tusk, there was little that Zuko found he couldn't buy. It was kind of mildly terrifying. Just a bit, though. Cause at least he knew where he would be able to find the ingredients to make the world's most potent, dangerous and undetectable poison. Wonderful. <br/>
<br/>
Okay, so maybe it was a bad idea to be actively hunting demons in a massive city full of people who would turn him in for a piece of stale bread to feed the seven screaming demons they call their children, but he was tired and bored. This was mainly because Zuko was restless on an astronomical level, but also because there were few demons spread far and wide through Ba Sing Se, and the Dai Li took care of majority of them before Zuko (or the Blue Spirit, ironically enough, seeing as he was hiding behind the mask of something he was supposed to be against as an ex Fire Nation prince citizen and it made him want to laugh and cry, frustratingly enough) could even get in the area of the demon.<br/>
<br/>
But it was probably an even worse idea to go hunting for demons powerful enough to sneak past the heavily warded walls of Ba Sing Se while he was walking in a line about as straight as an earth-bender stuck on a boat in the middle of a storm. It could only end in disaster. <br/>
<br/>
Ever since he had let the Avatar's sky bison go, he had been feeling... off. As if there was a something in his head, beating against his skull with a log. Repeatedly. Something tickled the back of his mind, taunting him, sitting just on the tip of his tongue because he swore he knew something important, but he could not remember it for the life of him. It was probably (most likely) either something that explained his sickness or was between life or death. Knowing his own luck, Zuko could safely bet that it was probably both. Seems about right.<br/>
<br/>
Knowing his luck, it would probably come to him when it was too late for him to avoid any trouble it was bound to bring him. The gods seemed to love playing around with him. He had half a mind to dare them to strike him down where he stood, but he resisted the temptation, mainly because he wasn't entirely sure they <em>wouldn't</em> take the invitation and banish him to the darkest parts of the spirit world. He would rather not do anything that had to do with going to a place full of scary, powerful (scarily powerful) beings that could easily subdue him in various manners of nasty, violent and painful. <br/>
<br/>
He had gone ahead of his Uncle, seeing as he was still dressed in his black (and highly suspicious) clothes, and it would have been considerably easy to recognise he was up to something if anyone had seen him. So, he leaped from rooftop to rooftop, keeping his Uncle in his sight, all the way back to the small apartment they shared. <br/>
<br/>
Now, he was waiting for his Uncle to catch up to where he was sitting on the roof, debating whether he should (could) wait for his Uncle or not, seeing as his stomach was doing cartwheels and he could feel the bile rising periodically in his throat. It was only a matter of time before he threw up the contents of his stomach. He knew he was going to throw up, but his body seemingly hated him enough to give him a warning of what will happen, but not when. Wonderful. Zuko knew he would rather do it somewhere safe and private, as opposed to one the top of a random person's roof.<br/>
<br/>
When his Uncle came into his sight once more and started up the stairs to their shared apartment, Zuko decided that he could safely retire to the welcoming bed. He leaped through one of the open windows that led to the hallway right in front of their apartment door. He nearly broke the key in his haste to get inside, breathing a sigh of relief when the door finally swung open and he stepped into the warm room. His Uncle walked into the apartment a minute later. <br/>
<br/>
"My nephew, you did the right thing by letting the Avatar's sky bison go. I'm so proud of you, my nephew, because I know-"<br/>
<br/>
Iroh's voice sounded like he was talking underwater, simply becoming unintelligible mumble as Zuko's head started to fill with cotton, blocking his brain from his body and his senses, making it difficult to tell where he was and what he was doing. Or maybe Zuko was underwater instead. It certainly felt like he was being dragged down to the depths of the ocean, with a pressure pushing against his skull and his ribcage, making it hard to do any thinking or breathing. His head was pounding, and he felt the bile rise up again. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. <br/>
<br/>
"Uncle," his voice sounded far away, like it was someone else talking to him through a wall, "I don't feel so good." His head lolled forwards as exhaustion overtook his body and he stared at the ground in an attempt to stop the sudden nausea that made his vision blurry and the room spin. One minute he was on his feet, and the next thing Zuko knew, the ground was rushing up to meet him, and he was faintly aware of sound of a vase shattering as he knocked it off the table. <br/>
<br/>
<em>That was a gift for Uncle, </em>Zuko vaguely thought. <em><br/>
</em><br/>
His knees and wrists ached from where they had hit the floor and jarred, but the pain was drowned out by the horrible feeling of retching and the built-up pressure against his head and torso. His throat burned from the bile as, finally, he threw up on the floor. <br/>
<br/>
Zuko felt guilt that his Uncle would most likely have to clean up his sick, before black spots danced across his vision and he collapsed. <br/>
<br/>
=============<br/>
<br/>
When Zuko woke up, he could feel a cold compress resting on his forehead. He was covered in sweat, with the sweat along his back and calves sticking to the futon he was laying on and making him feel overheated, while the rest of the cold sweat that was exposed to the air made him simultaneously feel freezing. So, he had to have been out for a while in order for the sweat to cool. It felt like his fire was burning his insides, but his skin felt like he had just gone for a leisurely swim in the waters of the North Pole (Zuko knew what that felt like; he had done it before and could confidently say he would never do something as stupid as that ever again). Overall, he felt like shit. <br/>
<br/>
He groaned as he forced himself to sit up slightly, feeling his stomach churn violently at the effort. He was so tired, but he had only just woken up after Agni knows how long. His limbs were stiff with the disuse, his joints creaked and popped anytime he shifted, and his Uncle was nowhere to be found. <br/>
<br/>
"Uncle?"<br/>
<br/>
Zuko coughed as the ache at the back of his throat made its presence known. What a pain. His voice was little more than a whisper, but Zuko suspected that his Uncle would be able to hear him despite it, seeing as the small apartment was completely silent.<br/>
<br/>
Or maybe his Uncle was out? Or Zuko had slept a lot longer than he realised and his Uncle was at the tea shop working the shift he was supposed to be working himself? Zuko waited another minute before deciding that his Uncle was definitely not in the apartment and that he should probably stand up and try to figure out what the hell happened to him. <br/>
<br/>
Why was he sick? He knew it was probably something that was caused by a demon, so Zuko ran through his entire day – or what he could remember of it, at least – in order to figure out what he did and where he went wrong. <br/>
<br/>
He had heard that the Avatar had lost his sky bison, and was looking for him in Ba Sing Se, so he had set out as the Blue Spirit to find the flying creature first. When he found the bison, he had been so hopeful for once in his life. But then, his Uncle came and talked some sense into him, as usual (not that he would admit that aloud). Then, the two had returned back to the apartment. Overall, Zuko had not come face to face with a single demon at all that day (however long ago that was). <br/>
<br/>
He tried to think about his early rise. Could he have passed a demon who had infected him and not noticed? He tried to remember as many details as he could from that day, no matter how small he initially thought they were.<br/>
<br/>
Zuko had woken up at around the third hour past midnight and had taken to leaping from roof to roof. He had found the weird entrance to lake Laogai – maybe the Dai Li had something to do with it? It was highly unlikely, but it was something. If they could brainwash someone, surely it wouldn't be too hard to infect them with a fever. Zuko recalled that it had been raining that day, early in the morning before the sun had even risen. <br/>
<br/>
Zuko knew he should have turned around the moment he saw the unusually coloured flames in the distance, but he was an idiot and he didn't run and now, here he is; barely able to stand in the middle of the silent apartment he shared with his Uncle. He was lucky Azula wasn't there, or she would have laughed at him right before leaving him outside for a demon to fond. His sister always had been ruthless like that. Was it healthy? No way in hell. could he do anything about it? No, because Zuko liked being alive and he knew he was as good as dead if he even suggested Azula being anything less than perfect. Honestly, it was a trap either way.<br/>
<br/>
He was getting distracted. Again. <br/>
<br/>
Now, he knew what caused him to get so sick, at least. Akurojin-no-hi. A flame that burned bright, particularly during rain, to attract people and cause them great anguish and sadness. As if he needed any help in <em>that</em> department. The best part of the stupid flames, was that you can't kill it - just like you couldn't kill water. It wasn't tangible enough to kill. And you couldn't out burn a fire, if Zuko tried to use his flames instead, so that was out as well. The best you could do would be capture it in a container, and throw it to the bottom of the ocean. </p>
<p>Zuko huffed and stumbled over to the kitchen. There was a loaf of freshly-baked apple, cinnamon and custard bread sitting on the table and a cup of jasmine tea. Upon further inspection, the tea was still slightly warm, meaning that his Uncle had only been gone for a half-hour at most. the apple and cinnamon bread was still warm and soft, and Zuko felt his mouth water at the sight of it. He loved sweet things, and apple, cinnamon and custard was one of his favourites, just like it was his mother's favourite before him. <br/>
<br/>
It either meant that his Uncle was saying he knew Zuko would be awake, and therefore would not leave him alone for too long after being sick, or that he wouldn't be back and it was an apology (food was always the best way to apologise, in Zuko's humble opinion, and he didn't know how his Uncle knew - he made sure that he kept it a very well-kept secret). <br/>
<br/>
Zuko still felt dizzy (seeing double wasn't normal, right?), so he desperately hoped that it was the former. <br/>
<br/>
When his Uncle announced his arrival just under an hour later, Zuko felt...strange. He felt almost peaceful, if he dared to think it. He found that he was almost completely content to spend his life in Ba Sing Se, with an Uncle who supports himand a job that he enjoyed (as much as he would never admit it). He would be okay to spend his life within the walls, despite how much he would still miss his country. He would still miss his home always, but Ba Sing Se seemed like a nice place to try and create a new and happier life for himself; to start healing himself. <br/>
<br/>
"Nephew?"<br/>
<br/>
Zuko refocused his attention on his Uncle, who he noticed looked slightly concerned as he entered the small apartment to find Zuko spacing out at the table. Thinking about it, Zuko realised it probably wasn't looking to good from his Uncle's perspective.  <br/>
<br/>
"Yeah?" His voice sounded hollow and far away, like Zuko was listening to someone else speak in the next room. <br/>
<br/>
"I've tried to get your attention a few times, now. Is something on your mind?" Of course, Uncle would be <em>concerned </em>when he didn't answerhis question, unlike his own father, who would punish him for not answering, instead.<br/>
<br/>
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just..." he shook his head. "Doesn't matter."<br/>
<br/>
His Uncle looked like he wanted to keep pushing, but he held himself back. For that, Zuko was grateful. He didn't think he could find the words to explain how he felt; he couldn't even begin to describe the realisation he had. He wasn't particularly articulate enough to do so, even though it wasn't a thought he had so much a feeling of content. <br/>
<br/>
"It's fine." Maybe he was lying (he seemed to be pretty bad at that, except for when he needed help the most. He couldn't lie to get away with anything, but when talking about how he felt, Zuko honestly felt he was on par with Azula herself). It would take him a while to recover from the years of... his mistreatment at his father's hands, but he could. He had his Uncle, and he had Ba Sing Se to help him. <br/>
<br/>
He knew how his father had treated him was wrong, but... he was still Zuko's father. A part of Zuko - the part that was screaming at himself to get up because <em>the Avatar is in the very place you are currently living what are you doing you need to restore your honour -</em><br/>
<br/>
But Zuko couldn't listen to that part of himself, because that would mean disappointing his Uncle, and Zuko couldn't allow himself to do that. His father had never reacted well whenever Zuko had disappointed him. <br/>
<br/>
Surely Agni would grant him this small piece of freedom, right? The chance to make himself into the person he wants to be - someone who could honestly and wholely believe that they were worth the work they put into buiding themselves. Someone who was proud of who they were. Zuko desperately wanted that for himself, and he knew he would need his Uncle's help. His fear of disappointing his Uncle only grew. <br/>
<br/>
Zuko forced himself to take a deep breath and refocus on other things. He couldn't keep stressing over something that he hasn't even started actively working on. Plus, hadn't his Uncle started saying how proud of him he was? That was a good thing (Zuko wasn't entirely sure, since his father had never really taken in interest in his life from the moment Azula started bending, so he never had much experience in father-figures being proud of him).<br/>
<br/>
Zuko took another feep breath. Everything would be okay, and Zuko would make himself into a better person - someone his mother and his Uncle would both be proud of. Agni would let him have this, Zuko was sure.  <br/>
<br/>
If not, Zuko was going to find Agni and have a nice, polite conversation with them. Hopefully, that wouldn't be necessary. Zuko kind of, really didn't want to be cursed by the gods, but how much worse can it be than his childhood?</p>
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